


Business As Usual

by theghostofenj



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon!Shane, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, ish, like a tiny bit of angst, mainly ryan over thinking, pretending not to be a demon for the camera but is totally a demon au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13790232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theghostofenj/pseuds/theghostofenj
Summary: The most infuriating part about Shane being a demon, was the fact that he just wouldn’t admit it.demon!shane au where shane and ryan try and work with shane's demonic tendencies and personal stuff comes to light because of it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> today on "enj writes another fic without completing his others!"  
> enjoy

The most infuriating part about Shane being a demon, was the fact that he just wouldn’t admit it. It was infuriating to Ryan. Shane knew Ryan had studied demons thoroughly to film Unsolved, yet he sat in feigned skepticism and not-so-subtle demonic tendencies.

Ryan first caught wind of Shane’s demonic nature when he got his holy water from Father Thomas. It was a simple gesture, and it honestly did help Ryan feel safer, so while Shane continued to poke fun at the idea of holy water, Ryan basked in the comfort of a blessed water bottle. Later, when Shane attempted to drink from the water, momentarily forgetting its blessed contents, he jumped back as though the water had burned his lips, setting the bottle down and hoping Ryan didn’t notice.

But Ryan did notice, and the pit of dread filling his stomach didn’t go away. He watched Shane like a hawk, monitoring every movement. He saw the aversion to any cross on the wall, such a subtle grimace that he almost wasn’t sure if it was real.

He watched as Shane poured the popcorn on movie nights into two bowls, casually declining Ryan’s offer to salt the popcorn. He watched as Shane shut down Ryan’s ideas of demons with unwavering confidence on how they work.

It was driving Ryan insane and every day he attempted to get the truth out of Shane. It wasn’t enough for him to pretend not to be a demon, no, he had to deny that demons are real at all.

It all came to a head however, when once again, they got into a debate on the existence of the supernatural.

“Admit it Ryan, I’m right and you’re wrong! Ghosts, demons, whatever; they aren’t real!” Shane laughed, leaning back on the couch, as he spoke, an air of nonchalaunt surrounding him. 

“All I’m saying is, I don’t deny the existence of humans, you shouldn’t deny the existence of demons,” Ryan yelled, getting up and throwing up his hands. 

As soon as the words left his mouth, Ryan felt the air in the room thicken. Shane sat silently on the couch, and Ryan could feel his stare without even turning to face him.

“Repeat that once more for me.” Shane spoke with a serious air, almost dangerous, and it sent a shiver down Ryan’s spine. 

“I said,” Ryan started, turning around to face Shane. “I don’t deny the existence of humans, you shouldn’t deny the existence of demons.” He tried to keep a tall figure, using Shane’s seated position to his advantage.

Shane kept his eyes locked on Ryan, trying to read his actions and words, calculating his actions. He broke, suddenly, as he laughed, a cold sound that hardly resembled the warm chuckle Ryan had come to know. 

“So you figured it out, didn’t you?” Shane rested his head on his hand, gazing up at Ryan with a teasing grin. “Figured out the your buddy Shane is in fact one of the very demons you’re so desperately trying to prove are real? Good job Bergara, didn’t think you’d catch on.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, trying to swallow the fear bubbling up inside. He had considered the possibility that Shane’s true personality may not be the most pleasant, but facing it head on stopped him cold in his tracks.

“You started to slip. Thought I didn’t notice but I did.” Ryan leaned against the wall, trying to keep the distance between him and Shane.

Shane nodded slightly, looking down slightly as he thought. “So what do you want to do now? Exorcise me? Call Father Thomas and send me back to the downstairs?”

Ryan was taken aback. In all the times he had thought about confronting Shane, he never thought about what would happen when it’s all said and done. Do they just go back to normal? What even is normal when the man you called your best friend turns out to be a demon?

“I don’t know,” Ryan said honestly. “I… I didn’t think this far ahead.” 

Shane chuckled, sounding pure and … and like Shane again. “I’ll have you know that I am still your friend, if that helps your decision making.”

Ryan smiled slightly, feeling the tension in the room lift just a bit. “So, what? We just carry on like nothing’s changed? You admit demons are real and we continue on just like that?”

“This changes nothing. I will still deny the existence to everyone else.”

Ryan looked at him quizzically. “You are literally a demon, yet you’re still going to continue on acting like you don’t think you exist?”

Shane shrugged. “Easier than having to explain the sudden change of heart. ‘Oh yeah, I’m not admitting demons are real because I myself am a creature of darkness. Surprise!’. That will go over well.”

Ryan laughed, bending in slightly as he imagined Shane saying that to their camera crew with a straight face. “I guess you have a point.”

“So I just suggest we continue on with the show and our lives,” Shane stated. “And just so you know, only like, half the places you make us go to are actually   
haunted.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t considered the idea of Shane being able to interact with the spirits they’re trying to hunt. That could be… interesting.

“Ok, I agree. Business as usual then.”

Ryan walked to the couch, picking up his bowl of popcorn and leaning against the arm rest. 

“So we’re cool? Just like that?” Shane asked, raising his eyebrows at Ryan.

Ryan shrugged. “I’ve known for a while, so I mean, it’s just like normal except one secret is out in the open.”

Shane nodded in silent agreement. “You don’t happen to have any life changing secrets to let out? You know, to make it even.”

Ryan chuckled. “There’s one, but I doubt it’s life changing.”

Shane shrugged. “Something’s better than nothing. Fess up Ryan, what’s been festering in that mind of yours?”

Ryan looked into his popcorn before looking back at Shane. “I’m bisexual.”

Shane stared at Ryan for a few seconds, making the nervousness in his stomach come back. Shane couldn’t be homophobic, right? So many people in the Buzzfeed staff are openly LGBT+ and he’s shown support in the past. Ryan’s fears started to fade as Shane nodded, though.

“Ok, cool. Not life changing, but definitely a secret,” Shane mumbled. While he said it wasn’t a big deal, the thoughtful tone of his voice said otherwise. His whole demeanor had gone from confident to lost in his own mind in a matter of seconds. 

“Shane Alexander Madej, this does not get to outweigh the fact that you are a literal demon. So whatever’s going on in that brain of yours needs to stop.” Ryan spoke with counterfeit confidence, hoping it masked the underlying fear of the thoughts going through Shane’s head.

“Sorry, just, new information.” Shane said, shaking his head as though it would rid the thoughts from his mind. He turned, flashing Ryan a dorky, apologetic grin.

“It’s all good.” Ryan slumped against the couch, propping up his feet on the table in front of them, smiling at Shane. “Business as usual right?” 

Shane grinned back. “Right.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey i updated in under 2 weeks hell yeah! depression hit hard this week but i'm feeling better now!

The first week of no secrets being held was a test on Ryan’s heart. He couldn’t adjust to seeing a dark, horned shadow looming down the hallway, or the scratch of claws against glass as Shane tapped his fingers against his coffee mug. There were days when Ryan jumped, feeling fear pooling in his stomach, as he saw a flash of red in Shane’s eyes.

Shane had taken to scaring Ryan once he realized he could be his true demon-y self. Ryan would walk into a room to find Shane looming in a dark corner, teeth turned to fangs and eyes burning red. He would jump, curse him out, but they would always end up laughing at each other. 

Ryan decided to strike back, oversalting the popcorn when Shane wasn’t looking, and carrying around some holy water to give when Shane was thirsty. Shane normally hissed like a cat that had it’s tail stepped on, and pouted for a few seconds while Ryan laughed. He’d let his fangs show and fully commit to being a fussy cat before joining Ryan in his laughter.

Slowly but surely, Ryan became adjusted to the new traits his best friend showed. The electrical hum of lights flickering when Shane came in became as normal as the sound of the cars outside. He began to enjoy the secret smile Shane gave him as he researched for Unsolved, the knowing look in his eyes meant only for Ryan. It made researching more fun and, with Shane’s guidance, it became easier to find places with higher levels of spiritual activity. 

“What do you know about The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum?” Ryan asked, turning his computer screen so Shane could see.

Shane hummed, skimming the article in front of him. “Not to much. I don’t know anything about a demon being there, but there’s at least one tortured soul probably wandering around. Not that big a deal.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Business as usual means one, maybe two, demons per season. I’m going to continue researching this, and we’ll go.”

“First, there’s always at least one demon per season, see yours truly. Secondly, why can’t we have more fun?” Shane whined, leaning back in his chair like a child waiting for recess. 

Ryan glared at him, but the smile tugging on his lips took away from the sincerity. “One demon per season. Besides, there’s ghosts here, you said it yourself.”

“Yeah but they’re ghosts, Ryan. What are they gonna do? Ooooh I tugged on your shirt! Oh no that book moved an inch from where it used to be! Give me a break!” Shane huffed and slumped in his chair. 

“Isn’t that like, paranormally racist?”

Shane shook his head. “Nah, it’s more along the lines of saying I don’t like cats. Entirely different species. I would be racist if I said I didn’t like succubi. Now that’s demonically racist.”

Ryan let out a wheeze as he slowly fell into laughter. It was nice feeling like he was just talking with Shane again, not a demon in the body of Shane, but Shane.

They slowly fell into silence as Ryan began researching. By the time it was nightfall, Ryan had filled two pages of information on Trans-Allegheny. He sighed, closing out his tabs and logging out of his computer for the night. Shane was still working on some editing, as well as some last minute research for Ruining History.  
Ryan looked over at him, watching the concentration in his face as he clicked play on the video for the hundredth time. Ryan realized that Shane, demon or not, cares about his job and the content he creates. If he was just playing a game of mess-with-the-humans, he wouldn’t have put as much effort into his content as he did.

“Hey Shane,” Ryan started quietly. “How long have you been possessing this body?”

Shane stopped typing and turned to Ryan. “Why do you ask?”

“I just… I was thinking about you working on your videos, making projects of your own, that’s all you right? It’s not… it’s not whoever’s body this is?”

Shane stayed silent, staring off into space. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, then started once more. “I didn’t start off wanting a job at Buzzfeed. I wasn’t just roaming around Hell one day and decided, ‘Hey, I’m going to become a content creator at Buzzfeed.’ No, I just possessed a random guy who got too close to an entrance to Hell and just went with what his life entailed. 

Honestly, humans are interesting. I saw what he wanted to do and made him do it. He would’ve never done it so I did it. He’s not listening or anything, he’s basically in a coma right now, but I was intrigued in the idea of a human’s dream. It turned into more I guess. So yeah, it’s all me.”

Shane stopped, thinking to himself. “And I don’t regret it, before you ask.”

Ryan nodded, keeping quiet. From what Shane had told him in the past week, demons weren’t supposed to get attached to humans. They could torment them for years, but they couldn’t help them. By his standards, achieving someone’s dream in life falls under the category of help.

Ryan decided to continue packing up and not push the subject more. Shane was still lost in thought and he didn’t think it would be a good idea to push him any further. If Shane wanted to share it with him, he could do that on his own.

“Do you want to come over to watch a movie or a show tonight?” Ryan asked.

Shane shook his head. “Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’ve been flakey with Sara the past week or so. I promised her I’d do something tonight.”

Ryan nodded, though he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his gut. He brushed it off, thinking it was just him missing a relationship. Helen had decided to end things between them, and while it hurt Ryan, he understood that she wanted to move on. 

“That’s fine, we can plan on some other time. Tell Sara I say hi, by the way.”

Shane smiled, giving Ryan a thumbs up and grinning. “Will do boss.”

Ryan gave a small smile back and threw his backpack over his shoulder. As he made his way to his car, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Shane wasn’t telling him. It wasn’t technically a secret, he was only withholding the information he wasn’t ready to share. It wouldn’t stop Ryan’s mind from wandering though.

Thoughts raced through his mind about the conversation. Shane didn’t have to become friends with Ryan. He didn’t have to date Sara. He didn’t have to make friends with people around the office. But why did he? Finding humans fascinating is one thing, he could have gone to college and taken a course on human psychology if he wanted to learn so badly. But befriending humans? Ignoring his own kind? Actively hunting and taunting his own kind for the sake of an internet show?

Ryan huffed as he put the keys in the ignition, trying to shake Shane out of his thoughts. It didn’t matter what he did or why he did it. He’s his own person, or his own demon rather. But it did matter. It mattered to Ryan and he couldn’t figure out why.

As soon as Ryan got home, he got into bed, deciding to put the day, and his conversation, behind him. He could have a larger breakfast in the morning. For now, he wanted to forget.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this? an update after 2 months? wow, who woulda guessed!  
> in all seriousness, i have a chronic illness that has been getting worse recently, and I can barely function, let alone write. but today, after weeks of not being able to do anything, i wrote 2k words! here ya go!  
> (side note: i love sara rubin with all my heart)

Unfortunately, sleep didn’t come easily for Ryan. Thoughts of stupid Shane and his stupid cryptic words continued to haunt his thoughts. Ryan sighed, kicking off his blanket to get out of bed.

He walked into the kitchen, pulling out snacks from the cabinet. It felt kinda funny to be standing in the kitchen, eating out of frustration. Ryan huffed, making a note not to make this into a habit as he continued to pull chips out of their bag. He leaned against the wall, gazing at nothing as he tried to organize his thoughts.

After a solid minute of running through Shane’s words, Ryan’s phone buzzed, spooking him out of his thoughts. “One new message from ‘Bigfoot’” glared up at him from the screen. Ryan sighed, opening the message. 

“Can I come over?”

Ryan raised his eyebrows, unsure of what was happening. Shane was spending the night with Sara? Did they get into a fight or something.

“Why? Aren’t you with Sara?” Ryan typed back.

“Yeah… something kinda happened though… can I just come over?”

“If you tell me what happened, my door is open.”

“I’ll tell you when I get there.”

Ryan huffed, putting his phone down and going to change into some more presentable clothes. He organized the living room just a bit, and sat down on the couch to wait for Shane. He pulled his phone back out, scrolling through Twitter to pass the time.

Shane arrived 15 minutes later, still dressed for the day. He let himself in and sat down next to Ryan on the couch. 

“So you gonna tell me what happened?” Ryan asked.

Shane sighed, “Sara and I got into a fight.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes, genuinely amused that Shane drove 15 minutes across town because of a fight. “You’re a big boy, or big demon I should say. You know how to talk maturely with a significant other after a fight.”

Shane slumped into the couch, letting his head rest against the cushion and started up at the ceiling. “I don’t know about that this time.”

The amusement that Ryan felt started to drip away as he watched Shane. His honey-brown eyes, normally filled with an impish sort of life to them, now just looked sad. Ryan looked down at his lap before scooting closer to Shane. 

“And why is that?”

Shane rolled over slightly to look at Ryan. “She… she said she needed a break to think about things. She had been wondering why I’ve been acting different around you and why I seem more genuine around you than I do around her, and I had to tell her about the whole demon thing. She freaked out, understandably, and while she promised she wouldn’t tell, she wants some time away for a bit.”

Shane turned back to looking up at the ceiling. Ryan let him rest for a second, not wanting to push too far. 

“Do you want me to talk with her? Tell her that it’s really no big deal. It’s not like you’re possessing her boyfriend. You are her boyfriend, not the dude you possessed,” Ryan suggested. 

Shane nodded before sitting up again. “I’d appreciate that, but can we just watch a movie or something? I want a distraction.” 

Ryan agreed, turning on his tv. “You can pick,” he told Shane, handing him the remote control. He walked into the kitchen to prepare some popcorn, making a note not to salt it this time. Shane was hurt enough emotionally, he didn’t need Ryan to play some practical jokes on him.

Ryan sat back down, sitting next to Shane and handing him the popcorn. “What did you chose?”

“What We Do In The Shadows,” Shane replied, pressing play.

Ryan rolled his eyes, of course even when Shane’s in a bad mood, he still chooses a funny supernatural movie. 

They sat in silence, just watching the movie. The clock on the wall chimed 11:30pm and Ryan felt sleepiness wash over him. He stifled a yawn, trying to stay awake for Shane’s sake. Shane, however, shook his head and turned to Ryan. “You can go to sleep if you want.” 

Ryan didn’t reply, just turned his attention back to the movie. He continued to fight the waves of tiredness that continued to flow through him, but in the end it was futile. Before he knew it, Ryan fell asleep, body slumping over and onto Shane’s shoulder.

Shane let him rest there, only moving slightly to turn off the tv at the end of the movie and rest his head on his hand, allowing himself to fall asleep as well.

Come morning time, Ryan awoke, alone, on the couch. It seemed that Shane had draped a blanket over him before heading out. Ryan groaned as he reached for his phone, checking for any new messages. Shane had texted him around 8 in the morning, telling him that he was headed back to his apartment to get new clothes for the day. He also had a message from Sara, asking to talk to him when he came into the office. 

Ryan got up, shivering slightly at the loss of heat from his blanket, and made his way into his room to get changed. His back ached from sleeping on the couch and he made a mental note to try and sit straight while at work, not wanting to come home to severe back pain later in the evening.

Ryan got dressed and cleaned up, grabbing a granola bar from the kitchen and made his way to work. Before starting the car, he sent a text to Shane telling him he was on his way, and that he’d be keeping his promise to talk to Sara.

Traffic, as always, was horrible and after 30 minutes, Ryan finally made it to the Buzzfeed office. Parking his car in the parking lot, Ryan messaged Sara so they could meet up. She was probably already filming or working on some project, so the likelihood of her being at her desk when Ryan walked in was pretty slim. Finding people in the office was always a miniature scavenger hunt.

When he walked in, Shane was sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer. He nodded in acknowledgement when Ryan dropped his stuff off at his desk, before returning to his work. 

“Did you get any sleep last night?” Ryan asked, watching his phone for a reply from Sara. 

“Yeah, but your couch is extremely uncomfortable, so it wasn’t great.” 

Ryan muttered a little “tell me about it” under his breath at Shane’s comment. At that moment, Sara decided to reply, telling Ryan to meet her in the kitchen. Shane looked up slightly as Ryan started to walk away, pulling his arm to keep him back for a second. 

“You’ll tell me how it goes, right?” Worry seeped into Shane’s voice, and Ryan felt a pang of sadness for his friend, but also a bit of confidence for his talk with Sara. 

“Of course, big guy.”

Shane let him go and Ryan made his way into the kitchen, thinking out all the ways he could tell Sara why she shouldn’t worry.

When he made it to the kitchen, Sara was leaning against a chair, keeping herself out of the way as a camera crew were packing up their supplies from around a kitchen island. She looked up at Ryan, pushing a stray curl from her face. 

“Thanks for meeting me this morning. I take it Shane told you about what happened last night?” 

Ryan nodded, not sure what facial expression he should make. 

“Yeah he did. Well, not a lot actually. He was pretty upset and so he told me about what happened and that you wanted space, but nothing much more than that.”

Sara sighed, looking up at Ryan. “It’s not just the demon thing, there’s something else and I knew Shane wouldn’t tell you about it and that’s why I needed to.”

Ryan looked at her, confused. “I thought you wanted space to process the fact that your boyfriend is a demon. I mean, I know I would.”

Sara shook her head. “That was part of it, and honestly, I could probably get over it. You seemed ok with him, and you’re terrified of that stuff. But no, it’s not just the demon thing making him act different around you.”

Ryan looked at her, his confusion becoming ever more present by the second.

“I think Shane might have a crush on you,” Sara stated, and the way she said it was as if she needed to force the words out of her mouth. 

Ryan barked out a laugh, of all the things he expected Sara to say, that wasn’t one of them. He had thought she was going to tell him she was the one who had a crush on someone else, or that she’s moving away and wants to let Shane down easy, or hell, even that she’s going to be abducted by aliens in a week, but Shane having a crush on him? That was unexpected.

“Where do you get that idea? We’re friends, sure, and I hope he likes me, but not _like_ likes me!” 

Sara’s expression didn’t change, making the last hope that she was joking leave Ryan’s head. 

“You’re… you’re being serious, aren’t you?”

Sara nodded. “I’ve thought about it for a while, even before the fact that Shane’s a demon became known. I don’t know what it is, he just seems so comfortable with you, and even when we’re alone he always talks about you. Like, more than he does any of our other friends. And over the past week, it’s as though you’re the only thing on his mind. It may just be that you accepted him as the demon he is, but that doesn’t change the months of it before now.” 

Sara looked down at her phone and sighed. “I just don’t know if we can function as a unit until he works it out.”

Ryan stared at her, shocked. There was no way Shane had a crush on him. Of course they’d been closer recently, they got a huge secret, well two actually, out into the open. They’re bound to be closer after that.

“While I don’t know if all of that is true or not, why are you telling me this? If it is true, shouldn’t you be pissed at me?” Ryan asked.

Sara chuckled, and it was pretty genuine. “Why would I be pissed? If you two were dating behind my back, _then_ I would be angry. I can’t be angry at you for being a nice guy that Shane likes. The reason I’m telling you is because I knew Shane wouldn’t. There’s no way he would tell me that he has a crush, especially if that crush is on you. You may be able to find out the truth.”

Ryan stood for a moment. “Shane and I decided that there wouldn’t be secrets between us anymore. He would have told me by now.” 

He knew that wasn’t true, Shane had already shown him there were certain things he couldn’t admit just yet, but that wouldn’t make Sara feel better.

“Just keep an eye out, would ya?” Sara asked. 

Ryan nodded. “I will, but I don’t think I’ll find anything. And I told Shane I would talk with you, and I thought it was just about the demon thing. What should I tell him about our conversation?”

Sara thought for a second. “Tell him that you had time to process before he told you, I should also have time to process. Just let him know I still care, alright?”

Ryan agreed, and Sara hugged him before walking off to her desk. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. So much for no secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just watched 'what we do in the shadows' and its now my favorite damn movie


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry for the literal 7 month break. I didn't mean to let it go so long. This is a shorter chapter, only 1.1k, but I promise i'll be updating more and writing longer chapters. Shit hit the fan in my life and I haven't done anything in months. Hope you all can forgive me! ily here's the chapter

Walking back to Shane shouldn’t have felt like a mile long, but it did anyway. Sara’s words raced through Ryan’s head at the speed of light, each echoing throughout his mind like the first time he heard them. Shane _couldn’t_ like him, right? They were bros, that was literally part of their branding for Christ’s sake! Ryan rubbed his eyes, and sat down at his desk.

Shane immediately turned his chair to face him, the swivel seeming far too playful for the current situation. “So,” he said. “What did Sara say?”

Ryan shrugged. “Not too much.” Lie. “Just told me to tell you that she still cares for you, and that she just needs some time to process.” Not a total lie. “Something about me having time to process and she didn’t.” The exact opposite of that statement is true. 

Shane sighed, but Ryan couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment, or a strange mix of both. He nodded, staring off at Sara. “Well at least she doesn’t hate me.” 

Ryan cracked a smile and patted Shane on the back. “There you go. Look at the bright side. She’ll come around, I know she will. Hell, she’s been with you for some time now, and demon or not, that doesn’t make all that go away. It just adds a new layer to your personality.”

Shane gave a small smile in return, before tensing up again. “Did you guys talk about anything else?”

Ryan tried not to freeze, it would just give him away. “I mean, I asked how her day was, and the shoot she just did, but not much else.” 

Shane kept his eyes fixed on Ryan’s face, trying to read him on if he was telling the truth or not. The paranoid part of Ryan’s brain was thinking that maybe Sara’s conversation was a trick and Shane actually told her and was using her to see Ryan’s reaction. 

Shane looked away, whether he was content with his reading, Ryan didn’t know, but there was relief flowing through him when Shane looked away. 

“Ok,” Shane said. He took a breath in and released it slowly, running a hand through his hair. 

There was something unsettling about knowing a demon can get worried about normal human stuff like relationship problems. If he let himself spiral, which he had many times when contemplating Shane’s demon status, he would fall into a pit of worry regarding whether the universe is even remotely safe if powerful beings like demons still had the emotions of humans. 

Or maybe it was just Shane. Maybe he was the exception. 

Ryan stopped himself, feeling like his thoughts were starting to have a double meaning. He couldn’t let his mind go back to his conversation with Sara. He’d get nothing done just dwelling on the fact that Shane might have a crush on him. How would he even address it? How wou-

“Ryan!” 

Ryan snapped out of his trance, looking back at Shane. “Huh?”

“You were staring at your keyboard for like five minutes, not moving. What’s going on? Are you sure Sara didn’t tell you anything else?”

Ryan sighed. So much for not bringing it up. “She may have mentioned something, and it’s on my mind and I know we said no secrets but also it’s technically your secret but it might not be your   
secret because I don’t know if it’s even real or if Sara’s reading into things and - and I’m rambling. Ok.” Ryan took a deep breath, he only had one solid option, and that was to outright ask Shane. 

“She thinks you have a crush on me.” 

Shane froze, standing still in the same way Ryan had a few moment prior. “She said what now?”

“She said that part of the reason she’s backing away for a bit is to let you figure out anything about whether or not you like me or not. And like, you don’t have to say anything it’s just on my mind.” 

Shane stayed silent, a common theme in the past 24 hours, as he contemplated his thoughts. “Ok,” he said simply.

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. I honestly don’t know what to think right now, so just, ok.” Shane shrugged, going back into his normal state. 

Ryan looked down, face twisted in bewilderment. Ok? That’s it? No ‘Yes Ryan I have a crush on you’ or ‘No Ryan that’s ridiculous’? Just ok?

“Oh stop making that face you were the one that said I could say nothing at all.” Shane scolded, playfully swatting Ryan’s shoulder. “Now get to work, you still have to research that asylum you want us to go to. I’m not going to see some basic ass ghosts without any actual information.”

Shane turned back to his computer, finishing up some editing for other Buzzfeed projects, and maybe some Ruining History if he was lucky. 

Ryan shook his head to sober up, he felt drunk on his own thoughts. The uncertainty of Shane liking him felt both confirmed and completely tangled at the same time. Was his silence his way of saying he had actual thoughts and feelings he needed to work out and he actually had a crush on Ryan. Or was it because he was trying to figure out how to make sure Sara knew that he didn’t have a crush on Ryan. Or maybe he was considering Ryan as a potential romantic partner for the first time and he needed to consider it if Sara was giving him the opportunity. 

It took all his energy not to just bang his head on the desk right then and there. Why did life have to become so complicated? Ryan’s a simple man, he likes his sports, ghosts (debatable), and hanging out with his friends. That should be easy. Now the only thing that could remain easy was sports. 

“At least I have sports,” Ryan muttered to himself.

“What are you talking about?” Shane asked, seeming quite confused by Ryan’s sudden change in conversation.

“I was just thinking about sports,” he replied, not confident enough to actually tell the truth but not scared enough to lie all the way. 

Shane laughed and shook his head at Ryan. He didn’t seem at all bothered, simply working the way he usually does.

Ryan stopped himself. There was no way he was going to get anything done if he just kept focusing on Shane. Sure, Sara got into his head a bit, but she could always be wrong and things would just stay normal. It’s rarely the worst case scenario.

Proud of himself for rationalizing the situation, Ryan went back to researching the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, letting his only worries be whether or not he wanted to call it a “Lunatic Asylum” or just “Asylum”.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter, but i ended it at a place that felt natural. I've got a few ideas for the next chapter and this one would just feel like two chapters if I didn't end it where i did

By some miracle, Ryan managed to work his was to lunch. By the time he realized what time it was, his stomach was begging to be fed. Making his way to the kitchen, Ryan gave himself a mental pat on the back for dealing with a situation rationally for once. Not letting his anxiety get to him was something he needed to work on if he was being honest.

Smiling to himself, Ryan stopped at the kitchen door as he heard muffled whispers in an argument. Cracking the door open, he saw Shane and Sara standing across from each other, whisper yelling. The smile fell from Ryan’s face as he realized that his stress had only just begun.

“You one hundred percent have a crush on Ryan and why can’t you just admit it!” Sara hissed.

“Because it’s not true!”

“Oh really? You spend every waking moment thinking about him. You work together, you hang out together, you know each other so well you can finish each other’s freaking sentences. And it’s not just that. It’s the fact that when you’re with just me, you know, your girlfriend, you still only talk about Ryan. ‘Oh Ryan did this, Ryan did that, isn’t Ryan so funny?’ You may not accept it, but you like him and I’d rather get out of this relationship before you end it so you can go be with him.”

Sara stormed out the other door, leaving Shane by himself. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed deeply, turning to the fridge to get some food. 

Ryan stood stunned. Sara seemed so much more sure that Shane liked him than she did earlier. She actually broke up with him. Ryan steadied himself to go in and comfort his friend. 

“Hey bud, I only heard the end of that conversation. Do you need to talk about it?” Ryan said as he walked in. Shane looked up at him, and Ryan could see the emotional toll that was being taken on him. 

“I don’t know. All I know is that it’s over between me and Sara.” Shane sat down at the table and put his head in his hands. 

Ryan sat down next to him and patted his back comfortingly. 

“The thing is,” Shane continued. “I don’t even know if she’s right!” 

“What do you mean?”

“I have no idea how I feel about you. Demons aren’t supposed to make friends with humans so I don’t know what is normal and what isn’t. We aren’t designed to feel any pure emotions like having a crush. We’re designed for lust, power, greed, all the sins you humans are taught to cast aside. Even if I do have a crush on you, I don’t know if I would even know.” Shane threw his hands in the air in frustration. 

Ryan felt helpless, unable to help his friend. This was uncharted territory for the both of them. It’s not like they could google “How to help your demon friend understand emotions”. 

“I wish I knew how to help,” Ryan muttered. 

“I think I just need some time alone to figure out what I feel. Do some of my own research into human emotion. You guys study that right? That’s psychology right?” 

Ryan nodded, unsure of where this was going. “So what, you’re going to go to the library to study emotions? That’s your big plan?”

Shane shrugged. “This is new for all of us. If I’m feeling like a human, I need to understand how humans feel in the first place. Unless you know another demon who’s also developed the ability to feel positive emotions, I think this is the only way we can make some progress on this situation.”

“You’re treating this like it’s some kind of experiment!”

“Isn’t it though!” Shane grinned at Ryan. “It’s not going to affect you too much. Either I have a crush on you or I don’t! We already agreed to keep things as normal as possible. I can go figure out what I feel, report back, and I either remain single or get back together with Sara. Nothing a bit of research can’t resolve.”

Ryan stared at Shane, amazed at the pure disconnect from emotion he had in this situation. Part of him wished he could be like that, just detach and look at a problem rationally. The other part of him reminded him that the reason Shane could do that is because he’s a literal demon. 

“I… I cannot believe you. But ok.” Ryan laughed at himself. How fucking weird was his life. “I’m gonna get a sandwich, you… you go do your research. Report back, I guess.”

Shane gave him a double thumbs up and walked out. 

Ryan sat back in his chair, processing what just happened. He felt so light, amused by his friend. Not for the first time that day did Ryan think, maybe he liked Shane too.  
Shane was such an enigma. Tall and lanky, but not in an unattractive way, and full of scientific curiosity and bravery. There had been many times when Ryan got scared on location and Shane’s presence calmed him down enough to continue the episode. 

Ryan caught himself smiling at the memory, shaking the thought away. He couldn’t like Shane, could he? Shane was supposed to be the one having the emotional freak out, not him. Ugh, why did feelings have to be so complicated. 

Ryan pulled out his phone and sent Shane a text. “Once you’re done, why don’t you tell me what you’ve learned. Humans don’t understand emotions either.”

A few seconds later, Shane replied. “You got it boss man.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @unsolved-wheezes


End file.
